CBT Process Flow Consists of

Five Distinct Phases

Analysis– finding the person’s need. -- “for a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths”, Proverbs 5:2

Biblical Norms – discovering the truth. --  “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.  It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right,” II Timothy 3:16

Ownership - correction and instruction. --  “So humble yourselves before God.  Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.  Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites.  Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done.  Let there be sorrow and deep grief.  Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.  When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.” James 4:7-10

Application – commitment to change. -- “If you love me, you will obey what I command, and I will ask the Father and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth.  For he lives with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:15, 17b, 18

Maturity. -- “Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until the day when our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.  God, who calls you, is faithful; he will do this.” I Thessalonians 5:23-24 (NLT).

  • Analysis (Comparing God’s Love to Theirs): This initial phase uses observation, dialogue, and questionnaires to identify their broken love patterns and establish a counseling direction.   

  • Biblical Norms (Discovering Truth): Counselors present Scriptural solutions through practical, Biblical word studies to show the client God's standard for their specific situation.   

  • Ownership (Responsibility and Surrendered Will): The client chooses to rely on God’s grace to face their responsibility in real time matters and must choose between submission to God’s Word or continued disobedience.   

  • Application (Commitment to Change): In this stage, the client actively applies Biblical principles to their heart and mind, learning to rely on God's grace and the Holy Spirit rather than their own strength to change and grow.   

  • Maturity (Practice and Empowerment): The final phase focuses on practicing new skills and transitioning away from counselor’s guidance toward a direct, personal relationship with God.

Dig Deeper

Types of Counseling

Agapé Love Assessment — Help People Ministry
Help People Ministry

The Agapé Love
Assessment

A scripture-anchored self-assessment of your attitudes, behaviors, and heart toward the love described in 1 Corinthians 13 — for counseling, discipleship, and personal growth.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (NIV)

How to Complete This Assessment

This assessment contains 40 questions organized into 8 dimensions of agapé love drawn directly from 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, Galatians 5:22, Romans 12, and 1 John 4. Each question asks you to reflect honestly on your actual attitudes and behaviors — not your ideals or aspirations.

Rate each statement using the 5-point scale below. Answer based on how you typically think, feel, and respond — not how you wish you were. The more honest your answers, the more useful the results will be for counseling and growth.

Note: Some items are reverse-scored (marked ◆) — these describe the absence of love. Answer them honestly as they apply to you.

1 — Rarely or Never 2 — Occasionally 3 — Sometimes 4 — Often 5 — Almost Always
1
Patience & Longsuffering
1 Corinthians 13:4a • Romans 15:1 • Galatians 5:22

"Love is patient" (makrothumia) — the capacity to bear long under provocation, delay, or hardship without retaliating or giving up on people.

Question 1 of 40
When someone repeatedly makes the same mistake or hurts me in the same way, I am able to respond with calmness and continued care rather than frustration or withdrawal.
1 Corinthians 13:4 — "Love is patient"
Question 2 of 40
I am able to wait on God's timing in difficult circumstances without becoming resentful, anxious, or bitter.
Romans 15:1 — "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak"
Question 3 of 40
I find that I quickly lose patience with people who are slow, inconsistent, or who seem unwilling to change.
Galatians 5:22 — Longsuffering is fruit of the Spirit
Question 4 of 40
When people are difficult, demanding, or draining, I find the resources within me to continue caring for them without withdrawing or retaliating.
Colossians 3:12 — "Clothe yourselves with…patience"
Question 5 of 40
I am willing to stay in a difficult relationship or situation longer than feels comfortable, trusting that God is at work.
James 1:4 — "Let patience have its perfect work"
2
Kindness & Active Goodness
1 Corinthians 13:4b • Ephesians 4:32 • Luke 6:35

"Love is kind" (chresteuomai) — actively doing good to others, especially those who cannot repay or who are difficult to love.

Question 6 of 40
I actively look for practical ways to serve and bless people — including those who have wronged me or shown me little kindness.
Luke 6:35 — "Love your enemies, do good to them"
Question 7 of 40
My words to others — including those who frustrate me — tend to be gentle, encouraging, and life-giving rather than sharp or dismissive.
Ephesians 4:32 — "Be kind and compassionate to one another"
Question 8 of 40
I find that I am often too tired, too busy, or too emotionally depleted to extend genuine kindness to those around me.
Galatians 6:9 — "Let us not grow weary in doing good"
Question 9 of 40
I extend the same quality of care and courtesy to people who can do nothing for me as I do to those who matter socially or professionally.
James 2:1-4 — No favoritism in love
Question 10 of 40
I take initiative in doing good rather than waiting for others to ask or for circumstances to require it.
1 Corinthians 13:4 — Kindness is an active posture, not a reaction
3
Contentment & Freedom from Envy
1 Corinthians 13:4c • Philippians 4:11 • James 3:14–16

"Love does not envy" — the absence of coveting or resenting what others have, and genuine joy in others' blessing and success.

Question 11 of 40
When someone I know receives recognition, success, or a blessing I have desired, I feel a pull of resentment or comparison rather than genuine gladness for them.
James 3:16 — "Envy brings disorder and every evil practice"
Question 12 of 40
I can genuinely celebrate when others succeed, receive promotion, or are blessed — even when I have desired those same things.
Romans 12:15 — "Rejoice with those who rejoice"
Question 13 of 40
I find a settled contentment in what God has given me, rather than a persistent hunger for what others possess.
Philippians 4:11 — "I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content"
Question 14 of 40
I notice that comparison with others frequently shapes my sense of worth, success, or spiritual standing.
Galatians 5:26 — "Let us not be conceited, provoking and envying one another"
Question 15 of 40
I can sincerely pray for and speak well of people whose gifts, relationships, or influence I have coveted.
1 Corinthians 13:4 — Love does not envy
4
Humility & Freedom from Pride
1 Corinthians 13:4d–5a • Philippians 2:3 • Romans 12:16

"Love does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others" — the posture of placing others genuinely above oneself without performance or pretense.

Question 16 of 40
I find myself frequently steering conversations toward my own achievements, experiences, or opinions rather than drawing others out.
1 Corinthians 13:4 — Love does not boast or parade itself
Question 17 of 40
I am able to acknowledge my mistakes, limitations, and failures without excessive shame or self-protective justification.
Philippians 2:3 — "In humility, consider others better than yourselves"
Question 18 of 40
I treat people whose social status, education, or gifts are less visible than mine with the same dignity and attentiveness I give to those I admire or look up to.
Romans 12:16 — "Do not be proud; be willing to associate with people of low position"
Question 19 of 40
When I am criticized or corrected — even kindly — my first internal response is defensiveness rather than openness to hear the truth.
Proverbs 12:1 — "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid"
Question 20 of 40
I find it natural to put others' needs, preferences, and recognition ahead of my own without needing to be noticed or credited.
John 13:14-15 — Jesus models servant-humility as the pattern of love
5
Others-Centeredness & Sacrificial Service
1 Corinthians 13:5b • Philippians 2:4 • Romans 15:2–3

"Love is not self-seeking" — the orientation of genuine agapé is outward, placing others' genuine needs above personal comfort, advantage, or convenience.

Question 21 of 40
I regularly and genuinely inquire into the needs, burdens, and lives of those around me — and follow through with real support.
Philippians 2:4 — "Look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others"
Question 22 of 40
When I help or serve others, I notice that my own comfort, recognition, or benefit frequently shapes whether and how I engage.
1 Corinthians 13:5 — Love does not seek its own
Question 23 of 40
I am willing to sacrifice personal time, resources, or preferences to genuinely serve someone else's need, even when it costs me something real.
Romans 15:2-3 — "Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up"
Question 24 of 40
When a conflict arises between what I want and what another person needs, I find it possible to release my own agenda for their genuine benefit.
1 John 3:17 — "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in that person?"
Question 25 of 40
I find that I give more generously of myself when there is something in it for me — a relationship return, appreciation, or social standing.
Matthew 6:1 — Beware of practicing your righteousness before others to be seen
6
Anger Management & Forgiveness
1 Corinthians 13:5c–5d • Ephesians 4:26 • Matthew 18:21–22

"Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs" — agapé neither stores up offenses nor is quick-tempered, but releases and forgives as Christ forgave.

Question 26 of 40
I find that hurts, offenses, and perceived injustices tend to stay with me for a long time — often returning in my thoughts, conversations, or prayers.
1 Corinthians 13:5 — Love keeps no account of wrongs suffered
Question 27 of 40
When I have been genuinely wronged, I am able to release the offense and forgive — not minimizing the harm, but choosing not to hold it against the person.
Ephesians 4:32 — "Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you"
Question 28 of 40
When I am provoked, frustrated, or treated unjustly, my first response tends to be a flare of anger that I find difficult to contain or redirect.
Ephesians 4:26 — "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"
Question 29 of 40
I am able to have a direct, honest conversation about how I have been hurt without escalating into accusation, contempt, or withdrawal.
Matthew 18:15 — "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone"
Question 30 of 40
I pray genuinely and not merely formally for people who have hurt, betrayed, or treated me unjustly.
Matthew 5:44 — "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
7
Truth, Integrity & Rejoicing in Righteousness
1 Corinthians 13:6 • Ephesians 4:15 • John 8:32

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth" — agapé is aligned with God's truth and unable to flourish alongside untruth, injustice, or moral compromise.

Question 31 of 40
I find that I sometimes withhold the truth or soften my honesty when being truthful might cost me a relationship, approval, or comfort.
Ephesians 4:15 — "Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become…the body of him who is the head, that is, Christ"
Question 32 of 40
I feel a genuine discomfort and sadness when injustice, dishonesty, or evil is normalized — and I am motivated to respond rather than tolerate it.
1 Corinthians 13:6 — Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in truth
Question 33 of 40
My private behavior — what I do and think when no one is watching — aligns with the values I profess publicly.
Psalm 51:6 — "You desire truth in the inward parts"
Question 34 of 40
I notice that I sometimes feel a subtle satisfaction or relief when a person I dislike or compete with fails, is exposed, or is diminished.
Proverbs 24:17-18 — "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls"
Question 35 of 40
I am able to speak truth lovingly and directly to someone, even when that truth is unwelcome, because I genuinely want what is best for them.
Ephesians 4:15 — Speaking truth in love builds up the body of Christ
8
Enduring Commitment — Bears, Believes, Hopes, Perseveres
1 Corinthians 13:7 • Romans 5:3–5 • Hebrews 12:1

"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" — the crown of agapé is a love that does not quit when it becomes costly, uncertain, or unrewarded.

Question 36 of 40
I maintain genuine care and commitment for people even through extended seasons of difficulty, disappointment, or slow growth.
1 Corinthians 13:7 — Love endures all things
Question 37 of 40
I am able to hold out genuine hope for people who are struggling, failing, or have disappointed me repeatedly — believing God can change them.
1 Corinthians 13:7 — Love always hopes
Question 38 of 40
When a relationship or commitment becomes consistently costly or unrewarding, I find it difficult to maintain investment and am drawn toward withdrawal.
Galatians 6:9 — "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up"
Question 39 of 40
I am willing to bear burdens and absorb costs in my relationships — covering others' weakness with care rather than exposing or distancing myself from it.
Galatians 6:2 — "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"
Question 40 of 40
When I examine my heart, I find that my love for others is increasingly rooted in who God is and what He has done for me, rather than in what others offer me or how they treat me.
1 John 4:19 — "We love because He first loved us"
0 of 40 questions answered
Your Agapé Love Assessment Results
Loading…
—
out of 200 total points

Your Love Profile: A Counselor's Reading

Areas for Growth & Discipleship Focus

Scripture for Your Journey

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13
Love is not simply one virtue among others — it is the environment in which all other virtues grow and the measure of genuine spiritual maturity.
"We love because he first loved us."
1 John 4:19
Agapé is never ultimately self-generated. Growth in love begins with a deeper receiving of God's love for you — not a greater effort to love better.
This assessment is a tool for reflection and discipleship conversation — not a clinical diagnosis.
It is best used with a pastor, biblical counselor, or spiritual director who can help interpret results in context.
Help People Ministry — Building the counselor's toolbox for lay through professional care.

Big Ideas, Real Impact.

Thoughtfully crafted to elevate what matters most.

Work With Us