Treatment

When I met her, she had moved from prostitution to being in bondage type situations, into an abusive relationship or having an affair with a married man. She had no knowledge of the things that were right or normal. She had recently been saved, when I first met her, and was trying to remove herself from an affair. She had many accompanying problems: financial, and her parents. When they found out that she was kidnapped, they were glad to not have to spend money on her. They wrote her off, didn't report this to the police, but told people she had moved. This girl was absolutely abandoned. Obviously, this is an extreme case.

As I worked with her, it took a long time to hear all that she had suffered, try to understand the impacts on her, and get a picture of where to start to help her heal. I started to work with her on analyzing her concepts. Considering how much she'd been through; her results weren’t as bad as I expected. She began developing some concepts of God, so her church was helping her learn about God. I believe her salvation was real. I had to explain how she contributed to this situation by being so headstrong, bullish and self-righteous, holding distorted perceptions, and going from perception to reaction without thinking or praying. Because she was an Active personality type wanting to deal with things, she was willing to listen. She was able to understand what I was saying, and started to focus on some of her problems. 

Under treatment, she was learning new coping mechanisms which were helping her. The treatment text goes on to say to confront any involvement with a pimp or anyone who may be controlling her or keeping her in a situation of abuse to avoid beatings or death. If there are drugs involved, someone may be controlling their drug usage, which is another issue, but must be confronted now. Be careful, because if someone's in organized crime or trafficking, the client is an active source of income, they don't want you to help her get straight. They might not hesitate to threaten, harm or extort you. Work with the police if you have to do so. Do whatever is appropriate to help the client, but to protect yourself. Do not be surprised if the client returns to abusive pimps or traffickers, due to the lies and security they have once believed and felt.  Be careful not to put yourself, family or friends in harm’s way.  Allow the client to struggle, go back to traffickers and then return to health supporters, which is a part of the process of breaking their ambivalence towards what is best.

The next step in treatment is to teach the client the Biblical concepts that define the act of sexuality. Now this is the same truth here that you've seen throughout this course, but this was almost bizarre to her. She had never experienced this. All of her relationships had been demanding, degrading, and harassing. No man had ever cared about her in a godly way, so she was just incredulous. “How can this be? Why didn't I know this? I don't know anybody like this. Are you sure this is true? And where are you getting this junk from?” It helped to give her books to supplement her understanding. Talk to her about your perceptions. You may need to bring in a woman who understands this, and answer her questions. She had very specific questions. She would tell me about perversions and things she had experienced. She wanted to know why they would do this, and think it would be good. She described all kinds of ugliness, atrocities, awfulness and junk that happened. She needed to talk about it, and I needed to listen, so that I could help her. If you don't know what to tell her, read books yourself and talk to people. She described ways that people use paraphernalia, objects on her, masturbation, sexuality, and all kinds of junk. You may need to become educated to understand what she's saying, then be able to give her some answers to things she doesn't understand. 

In the Treatment Text you will find, Identify co-dependent lifestyle, behaviors, dependencies and any current inappropriate relationships.  In this particular case, the thing that was most difficult for her was this affair that she was in. Most often, people hold onto the wrong concept of love, because they can not process any other alternatives. Prostitution exists because of the wrong belief that sex provides security, value, self-confidence or worth. It also presents the lie that wearing certain clothes means I want you and this sex will make you happy. The woman is brainwashed into this thinking. In this case, she lived for about six years for only one purpose: to have sex against her will. As the brainwashing continued, she became a willing participant. The only reason she got out of this situation was because her place was raided, she was thrown in jail and met some chaplains who came to help prisoners at local county jails.  Through this ministry God awakened her, she repented and left prostitution.  She was a participant for many years, not that she wanted to be, but brainwashed into helplessness. 

She was helpless and also learned the lies about love, caring and sex which were the biggest issues that held her in bondage to this affair. She would break up with this guy and he would call her back, and come see her. Being sexual was as easy for her as breathing, and yet it never satisfied her at all. He followed the abuse cycle of being sexual with her, leaving her, treating her badly, then come back as if nothing happened.  Because she only knew these lies about love and caring, she repeated the same response and cycle of abuse.  Learning the correct definitions of love, caring and sexuality was very difficult for her. We worked quite a while before she was able to understand the truth and break her past and present bondages, and not allow it to control her. That was what was the deciding factor into how quickly she would heal. 

The treatment continues, including taking the client through a career analysis. This addresses the need for a new life and income, self-respect, and sufficiency. She had a job that was all right, but a client may need help rethinking life and career satisfaction. God may be calling them to something great. Also help the client establish a new base for fellowship and friendship through a local church as soon as possible. Without her new friends and activities to replace the old, it is easy to go back to old friends, familiar circumstances, and ways to feel accepted. 

As his/her counselor, do not expect behavioral and moral change overnight.  Don’t be offended by rough language, the way the person dresses seductively or openly sexual. The lifestyle must change, but behaviors and dramas won't change by the next session. 

You need to be aware of potential substance dependency, talk to your client about any usage/relapses and work with medical agencies as needed in order to make sure that the person does not suffer severe drug withdrawal symptoms. In a different case, a young woman who was clean, experienced several highs in a week’s time from drugs that were stored in her body fat, from her previous use.  It was assumed these stimulants were released out of her fatty tissue while hiking on a Christian wilderness camping trip, even after 8-10 months of sobriety. 

In this present case, she didn't have any drug dependency or alcohol abuse, but she did need a new church family or fellowship. She got into a good local church, where I was able to work with a pastor to help her get into a singles group. She felt as a misfit because of her past, but she was able, over time, to transition to be supported. She grew in her faith through Bible studies, and gradually she recovered and was able to live a normal life. It was unique and miraculous that she sought help at all, because this had been so intense, with the issues slavery, and her thoughts of helplessness. For years she believed that things can't change. “I'm not in control, so there's no way out of this!” Through counseling and God's grace, her mind was restored, her concepts did change, and she was able to build healthy and normal relationships. 

Copyright 1987, 1990, 1993 by Daniel D. Wilkinson. All rights reserved. For more information concerning this material, write to:
The Biblical Christian Counseling Ministries, Inc., 2730 Radcliffe Dr., Florissant, MO 63031.
Any reproduction of this material without the express written consent of the author is prohibited. Printed in the U.S.A..